A Cruise for the "Ages"

My wife and I finally went on a cruise a few months back. She had been wanting me to go for years and I had resisted. My main question about the adventure was, "Who needs to get on a boat surrounded by people who are already living in a retirement home?" I've got a lot of years until I'm ready for one of those places. The last thing I need is a reminder of what's coming down the pipe in a few years. I'm more of an "all inclusive" tourist. Just sit me down on a hot beach where I can eat and drink myself silly without the worry of breaking the bank. Well, you know what? After my first experience on the high seas in the southern Caribbean, I have become a "cruise-aholic"! I can't wait to go again.

The whole experience won me over, but it took some convincing for me to endorse the trip. I couldn't get past the preconception that cruising was equal to waving the white flag and saying good-bye to my youth. I thought the vast majority of people who cruised were also members of the Larry King fan club or who believe blogging is something blumberjacks do... Let's face it. The notions I had of going on a cruise were that you had to have a lot of time, you have to have a lot of money, you have to know the rules of shuffleboard, and lastly, but most importantly, you have a twisted desire to sit at dinner with guys who look like Captain Stubbing. Who else but the "wrinklees" would satisfy those notions?

As we lined up on the docks in Miami (Gee, that's not a place known for the aged...) in front of our ship, I began to notice that not all the women waiting had orthopedic shoes on. NOT all of the gentlemen had shorts on riding up to their man-boobs. I admit, there was a couple of them that looked like the came straight from a Herman cartoon, but they were few and far between. I saw younger families with 2.2 kids and people similar to us in age. Okay, so the majority of them wore knee-length white socks showing their pasty white thighs while looking like they still lived with Mom. Who cares? they were not in any of the World Wars and that's a good start!

The food was awesome. We went on what's called a "Freestyle Cruise". What that means is that you can eat any time you want from over 15 of the different restaurants and more importantly you may dine with anyone you want. So, if you're like me, you get to avoid the "loud-mouthed Larrys from Wisconsin" who can only talk about hunting, the Packers, and their prostates. It was a real pleasure to be able to go for dinner after 8pm after a day of sightseeing, casual drinking... and a nap. (Some old-people habits are hard to shake.) There were no folks sitting around complaining about the price of gasoline or asking if the meals would affect their heart medication. I can honestly say there wasn't even anyone sipping Ensure (or their whole meal) through a straw.

I'll get back to this cruise in a future blog or two because there was so much that inspired me. Whether it was the entertainment we saw in the theater, the beautiful islands we toured, the many things to do on the ship, the drinking I did with my brother-in-law or just the really creepy guy we saw everywhere we went, I'll have much more to share about our 9 days at sea.

*By the way, this is NOT Captain Sullenberger... or is it???