What's in a name?

I went to a Junior C hockey game in Essex last night. My nephew was playing in what may have been the last match of any significance in the old arena. While we sat there enjoying the game, I wondered why some of the other people in attendance were there. Actually, in most cases, it was my ears that raised questions in my mind of what motivated some people to go to the "barn" yesterday. There was actually a young man with a mega-phone who would randomly speak out some gems to the opposing team like, "Hey, you're skinny #11!" "You've got a big head, 77!" or "Stand up, #23!" The latter was said to the shortest member of the visiting squad and I actually let out a good chuckle when it was uttered, but not the next 45 times... I'm not sure what the physical insults did to satisfy the yearnings of the mega-phone guy, but he seemed to be having a good time.

A few seats down from him were the predictable boys with the blue plastic horns. I've never quite understood the fascination of these noisy, phallic, plastic creations. They sound like a herd of very sick moose and I'm told they made your lips hurt. Fortunately, there were no young girls using these personal props. In addition to the mega-phone guy, (I have visions of some SWAT team somewhere cupping their hands around their mouth pleading with some criminal, "Come out with your hands up!" And the reply - "What'd you say???") there were many other insult-hurling fanatics in support of the '73's. You have to give them credit for the many uses of the word, "SUCK". Of course, there was the obvious, "You SUCK!" which I can only assume was meant for everyone. Occasionally, we heard, "Hey (insert name), you SUCK!" just to make the specific player feel a little more special. The refs didn't escape the fans' wrath either. "Hey robocop, you SUCK!" was a favorite of a lady a few seats over - obviously a Peter Weller fan. Although, later on in the game she came up with a new catcall when the arena was real quiet, "Hey Alliston, you're real DUMB!!!" Brilliant... Meanwhile, back to SUCKing. Essex ended up scoring 6 times and after each score we got to hear, "Gooooooal-leeeeeeeee... Gooooooal-leeeeeeeee... Gooooooal-leeeeeeeee... YOU SUCK!!!" A classic, no doubt, but even this quality insult was drowned out when from across the arena, the opposing fans cranked up their super-charged fuel-injected super-sonic air-horn and let it roar. I swear, this thing came straight off of the Queen Mary...

I think that it's great people get so passionate for their teams. I fully understand showing up and cheering when it's a family member, a good friend, a school team or even the town/city where you live. And even teams like the Cubs, Yankees and Cowboys who are national institutions have large followings. Heck, I have a friend here locally that has Dallas Cowboy pajamas. I'm a huge Detroit fan of any sport, but you'll never see me in Lions lingerie or Tiger teddies... unless I get a real special request.

I guess the only time I can't see supporting some sports teams is when they have a nickname I don't understand. Miami has an NBA team called the Heat. Why would I cheer for a level of temperature? Anaheim has a hockey team called the Ducks. What does that animal do (besides flying in a V-pattern) that is heroic? The same applies to a penguin, I guess. My favorite hockey team does not escape my ire. Besides the obvious reference to the marsh dwelling blackbird, what does it mean to be a Red Wing? Is it the place in a hospital where a lot of blood is kept? Universities almost have a cruel self-deprecating attitude towards the naming of their teams. The following entries are all used to enhance the athletic experience of colleges down south; Anteaters, Game Cocks, Banana Slugs, Blue Boys, Railsplitters, Wonderboys, and Purple Storm. I think the last one is when Prince farts... Please post more if you'd like. And how about numbers? How can you go and support the 49ers or the 76ers or even the 73's? If you're gonna have a number for your team's nickname, why not just make them the Ones? "Hey, who do you like this year?" "I love the Ones 'cause they're like... #1, dude!" "Shut up. You SUCK!"